Psychology and how to influence others ethically?
We have them every day: conversations. In sales, during meetings, on the work floor and at home. Sometimes they are powerful, connecting and effective. But often little happens. No click, no conviction, no movement.
According to Erik van den Akker, trainer at Kenneth Smit, the key to successful conversations lies in the psychology of the brain. During his webinar on June 18, he showed why trust and influence often arise before someone consciously thinks about it.
Trust begins before thinking
Research shows: we make about 30.000 decisions every day – the vast majority of which are unconscious. The famous psychologist Daniel Kahneman calls this system 1 thinking: fast, intuitive and emotional. Only a fraction of our decisions are made consciously (system 2).
Anyone who wants to influence others would do well to focus not only on content and arguments, but also on the way you come across: tone, energy, timing and framing.
“Your customer often feels something from you before he understands anything of what you say.”
How are you perceived?
Erik introduced the perception pyramid model during the webinar:
- How you look and sound
- How you come across in terms of attitude and behavior
- What you actually say
Many professionals focus on point 3, while in reality the other person mainly responds to points 1 and 2. So trust does not start with what you say, but with who you are in the conversation.
Small differences, big impact
During the webinar, participants gained practical insights and recognizable examples. How do you make real contact within five minutes? How do you recognize resistance and turn it around? And how do you ensure that your conversation partner remains in the “open mode”?
The key? Sincerity, preparation and conscious influence without pressure. Ethical influencing is not manipulating – it is directing with respect for the other.
Looking back?
Did you miss the webinar? You can watch it again for free:
Further learning: training Communication with Impact
Would you like to put this into concrete practice in your own work? Then our two-day Communication with Impact training is for you.
In this training you will discover:
- How to communicate more consciously and purposefully
- How to build trust and prevent resistance
- How your message really gets across
Three psychological principles that make every conversation stronger
The first principle is reciprocity. When you give something valuable in a conversation, such as good advice or a sincere compliment, a natural inclination arises in the other person to give something back. This can be openness, trust, or a willingness to listen to your proposal. Therefore, begin every conversation by giving value, not by asking for something.
The second principle is social confirmation. People feel more confident about a decision when they know that others have made the same choice. Therefore, share relevant examples and experiences from similar situations. Not to brag, but to give the other person a sense of security regarding their choice.
The third principle is consistency. People like to be consistent with previous statements and choices. By creating small intermediate steps in a conversation that the other person says “yes” to, you build towards a greater commitment. That is not manipulation, but a way to structure the decision-making process.
Practice makes perfect
Knowing these principles is one thing; applying them in the heat of a conversation is another. That requires conscious practice, preferably in an environment where you are allowed to make mistakes and receive feedback. Training is ideally suited for this.
At Kenneth Smit, we combine psychological insights with practical conversational skills. In our Effective Communication training , you learn how to apply these principles in a natural and ethical way in your daily conversations.
