You were best friends with everyone in your department until an opening opened up for a higher position within the organization. You applied for a job and suddenly on Monday morning you were the manager of the friends with whom you gossiped about the boss on Friday. Since then it feels like everyone almost hates you, you are treated differently and looked at differently. Your colleagues no longer dare to be completely open with you. It seems like your colleagues don't want to accept that you have made a career. How can you deal with that? And will these colleagues ever become your friends again? We have listed a number of experiences and tips for you.
Development and you are no longer an “equal”
An important but perhaps painful observation is that you are simply no longer an 'equal' to your former direct colleagues. You have to accept this. The relationship with your equal colleagues will change permanently. You are now not one of us, but one of them.
Create clarity
One of the ways to ensure that your former colleagues accept your new position is to provide clarity. About your new role, about your vision in fulfilling that role, about your expectations towards your colleagues, about your desired way of working, targets, and so on. By providing clarity to the entire team, you prevent people from talking behind your back.
Build new relationships
The relationship with your former direct colleagues will therefore change permanently. As much as you would like things to be different, your relationship will become more businesslike. At the same time, it is also a great opportunity to build new relationships within the company. In your new position you will meet new people with whom you can once again build a relationship of trust on the basis of equality. Your new management colleagues are your new 'friends'.
Go for training
Perhaps you applied on a Thursday and were already the new manager in the team on Monday. That gives you very little time to really prepare for your changing role. Ask internally about the possibilities for one training, for example in the field of management. The company invests in you by giving you a higher position, so it is in their interest that you are successful.
Do you have a mentor?
In addition to following training, it is also smart to see if you can find some kind of 'mentor' internally. And another manager who may have walked the same path, one with whom you can discuss your new role, your doubts and your challenges in confidence. Discussing difficult matters with someone else can be a great relief.
Don't try to be everyone's friend
From one day to the next you are 'torn' from the team you may have worked with for a long time. Logically, you have already built up a certain relationship with those colleagues and you have formed an image of the different people. One colleague suits you better than the other. When you get promoted and have to manage your old team, you can't let these preferences influence your decisions. It is also a great danger to forcefully keep all your old colleagues as friends. Naturally you want to maintain a good relationship, but as a manager you cannot be everyone's friend.
Don't feel bad about it
Perhaps the most important lesson of all! Especially if several colleagues in your team actually wanted to promote you, you may feel a certain sense of guilt. Why you and not them? How will they react, will they be angry with me? Don't feel bad! It is not without reason that the company chose you for the promotion, instead of your colleagues. Believe in yourself and the fact that you have put your head above the parapet.