Let's go back to the glass for a moment: is it half full or half empty? People with a positive thought will say it is half full; people with a negative thought will say it is half empty.
Furthermore, but what if there are people who say it is full; namely, half filled with water and the other half with air.
Besides, what do we call those people? Super-optimists, naive people, dreamers, or just weird?
Moreover, perception
Perception, the way we look at the world, is a special phenomenon. You may have seen the attached picture or perhaps it is new to you. The widely asked question is; how old is the woman you see in the picture.
Furthermore, you see the young, sophisticated woman who looks out at the world self-confidently (that is my perception) or the old woman with a truckload of life experience (again, my perception). You might wonder why that is so important. I will explain.
Furthermore, it is important because it is the start of a daily, defining process. Something happens and you perceive it as it may be through the eyes of the camera, in this case your own eyes, ears, or any other sense.
Therefore, based on your perception, an interpretation of the meaning takes place; a value judgment. From this follows the drawing of conclusions and your emotional and usually also physical reaction. These are based on your conviction. And ultimately, you take action... or not.
Because of this, what I experienced
An example to illustrate. Last Saturday evening, I was sitting on the terrace enjoying a delicious gin and tonic.
Next, a beautiful lady comes out, late 20s, and sits down at the small table next to me; my view (the eye of the camera): a woman, talking on a mobile phone in one hand, cigarettes in the other, very stylishly dressed, visibly not cheap, beautiful long black hair and very emphatically present.
Then the waiter brings her a glass of wine that she had apparently left inside...
Even before he gets a chance to walk away, she briefly interrupts her phone conversation with the words: “Young man (he was at least as old as she was), bring me another sparkling water and a clean ashtray and maybe those heaters could be turned down a bit (lower?
).
In short,” she said, before resuming her conversation. Sitting beside her, I could clearly observe the visitors' reactions. Let me just say that there were few who had a positive perception.
Moreover, for example, it is funny to see that a kind of dualism arises, especially among the male visitors (regardless of whether they are out alone, with their own partner, or with friends). Ranging from “what an arrogant bitch” to “she looks absolutely stunning”.
After all, her behavior on the terrace does not change for the first hour, even though it is already past eleven.
While talking frantically on the phone, smoking like a chimney, talking just a little too loud, and having ordered a passion fruit martini after her third glass of wine, she puts away her phone, pulls out a second pack of cigarettes, and looks around with a look that says, “Is something wrong?”
By the way,” I catch her eye and ask what she is so busy with on a Saturday night.
Furthermore, a fantastic conversation subsequently develops with a young woman (she was 26 years old) with Moroccan roots. Born and raised in Breda, with parents from Casablanca. She talks about her childhood; as the only dark-skinned girl at an entirely 'white' school.
Eventually grew up in one of the better neighborhoods of Breda because her parents could afford it.
Subsequently, how she had to fight to hold her own and how jealous she was of her nephews and nieces who grew up in the Moroccan community of Rotterdam and made fun of her because she spoke without dialect.
As she continued to chatter, she invited me to her table, an invitation that, as a 62-year-old man, I gladly accepted.
Yet, and you guessed it: I felt the stares of the other visitors on the terrace. She told me how she ended up in fashion after high school, first on Leidsestraat and then at the P.
C. Hooftstraat (Amsterdam, I assume? John).
So, ultimately, to carry out her work as a style consultant from Breda all over the world. She was visibly proud of what she had achieved. She was proud of her parents who had given her the space to seize her opportunities and do what her passion is.
She then offered me her help: she wanted to know what I did, which people were interesting for me to know, whether I already had a good hairdresser, clothing stores and restaurants where I should definitely mention her name because then I would get better service. and had to pay less.
Moreover, or rather the conversation, was about faith, how she embraces her faith but wants to see the nuances of the historical context, realizing that both the Quran and the Bible were written thousands of years ago.
Meanwhile, the waiter asked if we wanted to empty our glasses and leave the terrace, as it was now 2 o'clock on Sunday morning.
Then she took out her credit card and asked for the bill, whereupon I, like a gentleman, offered to pay. Her fierce dark eyes looked at me: “I am Dutch but with Moroccan roots, which I never deny. I invited you to my table, so I will pay.”
Moreover,” she said it very kindly but also unyieldingly. She gave me her business card and said: “If I can ever do anything for you, call me, and thank you for the wonderful conversation; normally no one ever comes to sit at my table.
Further” Then turned around and disappeared into the night with her hair blowing in the wind.
As I cycled home, I reflected on this special encounter with a young woman who is at the beginning of her career and wants to make the world a little more beautiful. In her own way.
I also thought about the image she creates of herself by behaving like that on a terrace and the perception people get as a result. But who is at fault then? Her for being herself, or the rest of the world for being so judgmental?
That's why at 2:30 I got a text asking if I had gotten home safely, and she thanked me again for the conversation; she was leaving for Spain in four hours, so she was going to get a quick nap.
This is what we learn from it.
Perception, the way we view the world through a different lens than others, with the risk of judging too quickly and missing opportunities we actually do not want to miss.
Furthermore, I am writing this piece now because I was called this morning by an entrepreneur. He had my phone number from my conversation partner from Saturday evening and was impressed by what she had said about me and my work as a trainer/coach.
In short, he wanted to make an appointment with me.
Do not judge too quickly.
Author Pieter Willemse is also a Trainer Coach at Kenneth Smit.