Back to the glass, is it half full or half empty? People with a positive thought will say it is half full, people with a negative thought will say it is half empty. But what if there are people who say it is full; namely half filled with water and the other half with air. What do we call those people? Super optimists, naives, dreamers or just weird?

Perception
Perception, the way we look at the world, is a special phenomenon. You may have seen the attached picture or perhaps it is new to you. The widely asked question is; how old is the woman you see in the picture.

Do you see the young sophisticated woman who looks at the world with self-confidence (that is my perception) or the old woman with a truckload of life experience (again my perception). You may wonder why that is so important. I'll explain it to you. It is important because it is the start of a daily occurring and determining process. Something happens and you perceive it as it (?) through the eyes of the camera, in this case your own eyes, ears or any other sense. An interpretation of the meaning takes place based on your perception; a value judgement. This is followed by drawing conclusions and your emotional and usually physical reaction. That are based on your beliefs. And ultimately you take action...or you don't.

What I experienced
An example for illustration. Last Saturday evening I sat on the terrace enjoying a delicious gin and tonic. A beautiful lady comes out, aged late 20s and she sits down at the table next to me; my image (eye of the camera): a woman, calling with a cell phone in one hand, cigarettes in the other, very stylishly dressed, visibly not cheap, beautiful long black hair and a very emphatic presence. Then the waiter brings her a glass of wine that she had apparently left inside... Before he has the chance to walk away, she briefly interrupts her telephone conversation with the words: “Young man (he was at least as old as her), bring me some sparkling water and a clean ashtray and maybe those heaters can be turned down a little (lower). ?).” Only to resume her conversation. Sitting next to her, I could beautifully observe the reactions of the visitors. Let me say that few had a positive perception. It is funny to see that a kind of dualism arises, especially among male visitors (regardless of whether they are alone, with their own partner or with friends). Changing from “what a hottie” to “she looks awfully good”. Her behavior on the terrace does not change for the first hour, even though it is already after eleven. Busily talking on the phone, smoking like a chimney, talking a little too loudly and after her third glass of wine she ordered a martini with passion fruit, she puts her phone away, takes out a second pack of cigarettes and looks around with a look of “is anything?" I catch her eye and ask what she is so busy on a Saturday evening. A fantastic conversation then ensues with a young (she was 26 years old) woman with Moroccan roots. Born and raised in Breda and parents from Casablanca. She talks about her childhood; as the only dark girl at an all-white school. Raised in one of the better neighborhoods of Breda because her parents could afford it. How she had to fight to survive and how jealous she was of her nephews and nieces who grew up in the Moroccan community of Rotterdam and made fun of her because she spoke nonsense dialect. As she continued to chatter, she invited me to her table, an invitation that, as a 62-year-old man, I gladly accepted. And you guessed it: I felt the looks of the other visitors on the terrace. She explained how she ended up in fashion after high school, first on Leidsestraat and then on PC. Hooftstraat (Amsterdam, I assume? John). To eventually carry out her work from Breda all over the world as a style advisor. She was visibly proud of what she had achieved. She was proud of her parents who had given her the space to seize her opportunities and do what she is passionate about. She then offered me her help: she wanted to know what I did, which people were interesting for me to know, whether I already had a good hairdresser, clothing stores and restaurants where I should definitely mention her name because then I would get better service. and had to pay less. The conversation was about faith, how she embraces her faith but wants to see the nuance of the times, realizing that the Koran and the Bible were written thousands of years ago. The waiter asked if we wanted to empty our glasses and leave the terrace because it was now 2 o'clock on Sunday morning. She took out her credit card and asked for the bill to which I, like a gentleman, offered to pay. Her bright dark eyes looked at me: “I am Dutch but with Moroccan roots, I never deny them, I invited you to my table and then I will also pay.” She said it very kindly but also unrelentingly. She gave me her business card and said, “If there's ever anything I can do for you, call me and thank you for the great conversation, normally no one ever comes to my table.” Then turned and disappeared into the night with her flowing hair. While I cycled home, I thought about this special meeting with a young woman who is at the start of her career and wants to make the world a bit more beautiful. In her way. I thought about the image she creates of herself by behaving like that on a terrace and the perception it gives people. But who does it wrong? Them by being themselves or the rest of the world by being so judgmental?

What do we learn from it?
Perception, the way we view the world through a different lens than others, with the risk that we judge too quickly and miss opportunities that we don't really want to miss. I am writing this piece now because I received a call from an entrepreneur this morning. He had my telephone number from my conversation partner from Saturday evening and was impressed by what she had said about me and my work as a trainer/coach. He wanted to make an appointment with me.

Do not judge too quickly.

Author Pieter Willemse is a Trainer Coach at Kenneth Smit.