Negotiating: techniques, styles, and tips for professionals

What is negotiating?

Negotiation is the process by which two or more parties attempt to reach an agreement that is acceptable to everyone. It is not about winning or losing, but about finding a solution that all parties involved can agree on. In the business world, negotiation is a skill that is encountered daily, from salary negotiations and contract discussions to client meetings and internal coordination. At Kenneth Smit, we regularly see professionals associate negotiation with hard tactics and applying pressure. That perception is incorrect. Effective negotiation revolves around preparation, listening, and understanding the interests behind the positions. It is a skill you can develop, and one that directly impacts your results as a manager, salesperson, or entrepreneur.

Why is negotiation so important for professionals?

In many cases, negotiation determines the difference between a good and an excellent result. Whether you are closing a deal with a client, entering into a partnership with a supplier, or need to allocate resources internally, your negotiation skills determine what you achieve. Research from Harvard Business School shows that professionals trained in negotiation achieve, on average, 20 to 30 percent better results than untrained colleagues. This translates directly into revenue, margins, and working relationships. For managers, negotiation is also a leadership skill. You negotiate with your team about priorities, with your supervisor about budgets, and with external parties about terms and conditions. Those who negotiate well create space for their team and for the organization. Also read our article about leading as a manager for more context about this competency.

Negotiating in sales

In sales, negotiation is inextricably linked to the sales process. The moment a prospect asks for a discount or other terms is when your negotiation skills make the difference. Giving in too quickly means losing margin. Being too rigid means losing customers. The key lies in understanding the value you offer. Anyone who knows their own proposition well and understands the customer's needs can negotiate from a position of strength rather than fear. At Kenneth Smit, we train sales professionals in precisely this combination of commercial insight and negotiation skills. You can find more about effective sales techniques in our article on cold calling.

Negotiating as a manager

Managers negotiate more often than they think. Every time you ask an employee for extra effort, discuss a deadline, or defend a budget, you are negotiating. The difference compared to formal negotiations is that these conversations are often informal, meaning you do not always recognize them as negotiations. It is precisely in these situations that it is important to negotiate consciously. That means: communicating clearly what you want, understanding what the other party needs, and working together to find a solution. This aligns directly with effectiveness. delegate and building trust within your team.

The five phases of a negotiation

Every successful negotiation goes through a number of phases. By consciously navigating these phases, you increase your chances of a good result.

Phase 1: Preparation

Preparation is the most important phase of any negotiation. Research shows that 80 percent of the negotiation outcome is determined by preparation. In this phase, you map out what you want to achieve, what your minimum acceptable outcome is (your BATNA, or Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement), and what the interests of the other party are. Ask yourself the following questions: What is my ideal outcome? What is the minimum I will accept? What are the interests behind my position? What are the interests of the other party? What options can I come up with that create value for both parties?

Phase 2: Opening

The opening sets the tone for the rest of the negotiation. Research shows that the first offer has a strong anchoring effect. Whoever makes the first ambitious but realistic offer steers the conversation in a favorable direction. It is important to use the opening to establish the relationship and set the agenda. Start by identifying common interests and outlining the goal of the conversation. This creates a constructive atmosphere.

Phase 3: Exploration

In the exploration phase, you ask questions and actively listen to the answers. The goal is to understand the other party's true interests. Often, multiple interests lie behind a position, offering room for creative solutions. Use the LSD method (listening, summarizing, asking follow-up questions) to get deeper than the surface. Many negotiations fail because parties get stuck on positions instead of looking for underlying interests.

Phase 4: Negotiating and making concessions

In this phase, the actual give and take takes place. The art is to make concessions that cost you little but have great value for the other person. This is also known as “creating value,” in contrast to “claiming value,” where you are merely trying to grab a larger slice of the pie. An effective technique is linking concessions: if I do this for you, can you do that for me? This prevents you from giving in unilaterally and ensures reciprocity in the process.

Phase 5: Closure and recording

The final phase involves summarizing the agreements made and documenting them. This sounds obvious, but in practice, things frequently go wrong here. Parties believe they agree but interpret the agreements differently. Summarize the agreements verbally, confirm them in writing, and record who does what and when. This prevents misunderstandings and provides a framework for implementation.

Negotiation styles: which style suits you?

Just as there are different communication styles, there are also different negotiation styles. Knowing your own style helps you become more effective. You can read more about communication styles in our article on the Leary's rose.

Competitive negotiation

The competitive negotiator wants to win. This style works well in one-off transactions where the relationship is less important, but is risky in long-term business relationships. The danger is that the other party feels disadvantaged and terminates the collaboration.

Cooperative negotiation

The cooperative negotiator seeks win-win solutions. This style is effective in long-term relationships and complex negotiations where multiple interests are at play. The risk is that you concede too much if the other party negotiates competitively.

Avoidant negotiation

Some professionals prefer to avoid negotiations. They give in quickly or postpone the conversation. This style almost always leads to suboptimal results and undermines your position in the long term.

Seek a compromise

The compromise seeker wants to quickly find a middle ground. This can be efficient, but the risk is that you miss out on creative solutions that are better for both parties than a simple compromise.

Ten practical tips for better negotiation

1. Prepare thoroughly

Know your own interests, your BATNA, and the interests of the other party. The better prepared you are, the more confident you feel and the better you can respond to unexpected twists.

2. Listen more than you talk

The best negotiators listen 70 percent of the time and talk 30 percent. By listening carefully, you discover information that you can use to find better solutions.

3. Ask open questions

Open questions provide more information than closed questions. Instead of asking, “Is the price negotiable?” ask, “How did you arrive at this price?” This provides insight into the underlying considerations.

4. Name emotions

Negotiations are not purely rational. By naming emotions (“I notice that this point is important to you”), you show that you understand the other person. This builds trust and makes it easier to reach an agreement.

5. Use silence as a weapon

After an offer or proposal, it is tempting to continue the conversation immediately. But silence is a powerful tool. It gives the other party space to think, and you often come up with a better response than if you react immediately.

6. Focus on interests, not positions

The classic example: two sisters are arguing over an orange. One wants the juice, the other the peel to fry. By focusing on interests rather than positions, you find solutions that work for everyone.

7. Be prepared to walk away

The strongest position in a negotiation is the willingness to walk away. If you do not have an acceptable alternative, you are dependent on the other party and lose negotiating power.

8. Never negotiate with yourself

A common mistake is to lower your own offer before the other party has responded. Make a proposal and wait for a response. Let the other party make the first concession.

9. Look for multiple options

The more options on the table, the greater the chance of finding a solution that works for both parties. Brainstorm possible solutions in advance and be creative in combining different elements.

10. Evaluate afterwards

After every negotiation, it is valuable to evaluate what went well and what could be improved. This makes you a better negotiator for next time. Also consider asking the other party for feedback. You can read more about giving and receiving effective feedback in our article on feedback models.

Common mistakes when negotiating

Even experienced professionals make mistakes when negotiating. The most common are insufficient preparation, making concessions too quickly, being guided by emotions, and forgetting the long-term relationship. Another common mistake is framing the negotiation as a zero-sum game: what the other party gains, I lose. In reality, most business negotiations are not zero-sum games. There is almost always room to make the pie bigger before dividing it. Finally, many professionals underestimate the importance of the relationship. A good deal that damages the relationship is not a good deal in the long run. This is especially true in Dutch business culture, where relationships and trust play a major role.

You can learn to negotiate.

The good news is that negotiation is a skill you can develop. Just as you learn to present, give feedback, or lead, you can learn to negotiate. It requires practice, reflection, and the willingness to step outside your comfort zone. At Kenneth Smit, we offer training courses specifically focused on negotiation skills for professionals. Whether you work in sales, are a manager, or want to close better deals as an entrepreneur, negotiation training gives you the tools and confidence to achieve better results. Would you like to know more about developing your professional skills? Then also read our article about personal development for leaders or find out how emotional intelligence you can help in negotiations.

Frequently asked questions about negotiating