You negotiate more often than you think. Not only when closing a deal or discussing your salary, but also when distributing tasks within your team, aligning deadlines with a client, or convincing your board for additional budget. Yet, most professionals do not learn this at school or during their education. The consequence: negotiations are conducted based on intuition, with mixed results. In this article, you will discover proven negotiation techniques, learn to avoid common mistakes, and receive concrete strategies that you can apply immediately.
What is negotiating?
Negotiation is the process by which two or more parties attempt to reach an agreement on matters on which they do not (yet) agree. It involves finding an outcome that is acceptable to all involved, or, in the best case, valuable.
A common misconception is that negotiation is about winning. That is not true. In effective negotiation, you seek solutions that create value for both parties. The Harvard method, developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury, calls this “principled negotiation”: hard on the substance, soft on the relationship.
For managers and sales professionals, negotiation is a core competency. Whether you are discussing a contract with a supplier, negotiating a project schedule with a client, or resolving a labor dispute, the principles are applicable everywhere.
The five phases of a negotiation
Every successful negotiation goes through five phases. Whoever knows these phases and consciously goes through them has an advantage over the other party.
Phase 1: preparation
Preparation determines eighty percent of the outcome of your negotiation. Yet many people skip this step. Good preparation comprises three elements. First, you determine your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement): what is your best alternative if the negotiation fails? This determines your lower limit. Next, you establish your target result: the result you most want to achieve. Finally, you map out the interests of the other party. What do they really want? Often there is more room for maneuver there than you think.
Phase 2: opening
The opening sets the tone for the entire conversation. Begin by building rapport: a brief personal conversation, identifying a shared interest, or expressing appreciation for the collaboration. Next, establish the agenda. Whoever sets the framework steers the negotiation. Dare to make an ambitious first offer, as research shows that the initial offer has a strong anchoring effect on the final result.
Phase 3: exploration
In this phase, you discover the real interests behind the positions. Ask open questions: “What is most important to you in this collaboration?” or “What are your biggest concerns?” Listen actively and summarize what you hear. The better you understand the other person’s interests, the more creatively you can search for solutions that work for both of you. This is also the moment to identify shared interests. These form the basis for an agreement.
Phase 4: Negotiation and concessions
Now the real negotiation begins. The golden rule for concessions: never give something away without getting something in return. Use the “if… then…” formula: “If you agree to the longer term, then we can lower the price by five percent.” Make concessions of decreasing size. Start with your largest concession and make each subsequent one smaller. This signals that you are approaching the limit.
Phase 5: closure and documentation
A good closing is just as important as a good opening. Summarize the agreements made, check whether both parties understand the same thing, and put everything in writing. Take the time to solidify the relationship. A negotiation is not a one-off event but part of a longer collaboration. Ensure that the other party leaves with a good feeling, even if you have negotiated firmly.
Seven proven negotiation techniques
In addition to phasing, there are specific techniques that improve your negotiation result. These seven techniques are based on scientific research and years of practical experience.
1. The anchoring effect. The first offer influences the entire course of the negotiation. Whoever names a figure first “anchors” the conversation around that point. Therefore, dare to be the first to make an ambitious (but realistic) offer. The other party will unconsciously reason from your anchor.
2. Silence as a weapon. After stating your offer or after a proposal from the other party: remain silent. Many negotiators fill the silence with unnecessary concessions. Let the silence do the work. The other party feels the pressure to respond and often comes up with additional information or a counter-proposal.
3. The salami tactic. Don't ask for everything at once, but in small steps. Each step feels like a small concession to the other party, but the total can be substantial. This works especially well in long-running negotiations involving multiple topics.
4. Framing. How you present something influences how the other person values it. “You get a 15% discount” sounds more attractive than “the price is 850 euros,” even if the amount is the same. Always frame your proposals from the other person’s perspective: what’s in it for them?
5. Package negotiation. Do not negotiate individual points, but bundle them into packages. “We offer a longer warranty period, faster delivery, and a dedicated contact person. In return, we ask for a two-year contract.” Packages create more room for creative solutions than negotiating point by point.
6. Higher-level technical law. Always keep a decision-maker on standby. “I just need to check this with my board” gives you time to think and prevents you from making decisions under pressure that you will regret later. This is a commonly used technique in professional sales environments.
7. Identify ZOPA. ZOPA stands for Zone of Possible Agreement: the area where the interests of both parties overlap. If your lower limit is 80.000 euros and the other party is willing to pay a maximum of 95.000 euros, the ZOPA lies between 80.000 and 95.000. Try to estimate the ZOPA as early as possible to know how much room there is.
The five most common mistakes when negotiating
Even experienced negotiators fall into pitfalls. Know these five common mistakes and avoid them.
Mistake 1: Not knowing your BATNA. Without an alternative, you are at the mercy of the other party. Always develop a strong BATNA before sitting down at the table. The better your alternative, the stronger your position.
Mistake 2: making concessions too quickly. Under pressure or out of fear of losing the deal, negotiators often give in too quickly. Every concession you make without something in return lowers your position. Take your time. It is perfectly fine for a negotiation to take a while.
Mistake 3: Focusing on positions instead of interests. “We want a 10% discount” is a position. The underlying interest may be budget certainty, board approval, or a competing alternative. By asking about the interest, you often find more creative solutions than simply offering a discount.
Mistake 4: neglecting the relationship. A won negotiation but a lost relationship is no victory. Certainly not if you frequently deal with the same party. Invest in the relationship, even (especially) when the negotiation becomes difficult. This aligns with the importance of good conversation techniques in sales.
Mistake 5: failure to record in writing. “Didn’t we agree that…” is a phrase you never want to hear. Record agreements immediately, preferably during the conversation. A short email summarizing the agreements afterwards prevents disputes later on.
Negotiating as a manager: internal negotiations
Negotiation is not just a sales skill. As a manager, you negotiate daily within your own organization: about budgets with the finance department, about priorities with other team leaders, about deadlines with your client, and about employment terms with your team members.
Internal negotiations have an extra dimension: you must continue to work together afterward. The relationship is often more important than the short-term result. Therefore, consciously choose a collaborative approach. Look for solutions that benefit both parties. A manager who always “wins” in internal negotiations eventually loses the trust of colleagues.
Good preparation for internal negotiations involves mapping out the interests of all stakeholders, not just yourself and your direct interlocutor. Who else has an interest in the outcome? Which departments are affected? By taking a broader view, you will find more common ground for an agreement. Would you like to improve at this? Explore the possibilities of a sales training of management training with Kenneth Smit.
Online negotiation: tips for video calls and email
More and more negotiations are taking place online, via video calls or email. This requires an adjustment to your approach.
When video calling, you miss some non-verbal communication. Compensate for this by summarizing more often (“Do I understand correctly that…?”) and by explicitly checking how the other person is doing. Ensure a professional setting and minimize distractions. Use the chat function to schedule appointments immediately.
When negotiating via email, the risk of misunderstandings is greater. Tone and intent are difficult to convey in text. Use email for exchanging proposals and documents, but conduct the actual negotiation verbally. Call if you notice an email exchange escalating.
Improve your negotiation skills
Negotiating is a skill that you can learn and train. The best way to improve is through conscious practice. Prepare for your next negotiation using the five phases in this article. Choose a technique you want to try out and evaluate afterwards what worked and what didn't.
Do you want to make faster progress? In the sales training courses by Kenneth Smit Practice your negotiation techniques in realistic simulations. You receive immediate feedback from experienced trainers and learn from the situations of other participants. Whether you are conducting client negotiations or need to persuade internal stakeholders, targeted training makes all the difference.
In negotiation, two parties seek an agreement together, in which both make concessions. When persuading, you try to convince the other party of your point of view without having to give anything up yourself. Negotiation is a two-way street; persuasion is a one-way street. In practice, you often combine both skills.
BATNA stands for Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement. It is your best alternative if the negotiation fails. A strong BATNA gives you negotiating power, because you know you can walk away without major consequences. Always determine your BATNA before starting a negotiation.
Stay calm and professional. Name the behavior without judgment: "I notice the conversation is becoming more heated. Let's get back to the facts." Set boundaries for unacceptable behavior. Take a break if tension rises. Focus on interests rather than positions and do not get carried away by emotional behavior. A strong BATNA helps you avoid succumbing to pressure.
In most situations, yes. Research shows that the first offer has a strong anchoring effect on the final result. The exception is when you have very little information about the other party's value or expectations. In that case, it can be smart to ask questions first and let the other party make the first offer.